Do you have a journal? I have been writing a journal since I was seven years old. I recently came across one of my journals from when I was 15. Oh the mentality of a teenager. I thought I knew everything when I was 16. But don't we all?
I had so many wishes and desires back then. I had confidence no one and nothing could shake. I was the queen of my own world, and what an imagination I had.
It was such a precious time though. So young, innocent, and naive. But sometimes I think I would trade that for the cynicism, bitterness, and regret I have developed along the way to adulthood. When you are young, you wanted to be trusted, you want your parents to give you some responsibilty. When you get older, you wish you could sometimes give the responsibility away.
It is a good practice for a writer to keep a journal. It helps me to sort out my feelings when they are too intense to voice. It can help you to organize your thoughts. I like to argue or discuss my point about any issues I have with someone after I have left the "moment". Writing your feelings gives you the release you need without causing pain to someone else due to saying things aloud that you can't take back.
Whatever way you choose to use your writing abilities, whether it be to write for entertainment or personal therapy, it all helps you to put words together to better hone your skills and make your reader share in your experience.

The following poem I wrote in 1998 when I broke up with my husband. Some of you may relate to the way I was feeling.

I'll Always Remember
I'll always remember your smile,
And that wicked twinkle in your eye.
The way my heart would skip a beat,
When you'd look at me and sigh.
I was your wildflower
That blossomed in the sun
But too much rain then drowned me
And made me want to run.

I never could figure,
Just how I really felt.
My feelings all were jumbled
My head sore like a welt.
You had so much pain inside of you
I didn't know what I could do
I always made it worse for you
Instead of only staying true.

But you scared me with the depth of pain
A depth I'd never know.
We both had all these feelings
We didn't know how to show.
But I do know that I love you
And that I always will.
No matter how our lives go now
I will always love you still.

I'm sorry we couldn't share our lives
The way we really needed
To just let go and forget the pain
Let our hearts just run unheeded.
You need a stronger person
To help you through your pain
To give to you the help you need
To learn to trust again.

And so I have to be contented
To know that you are there
Still in my life, with our children
And that you do still care.
I am really sorry
So much you'll never know
That we couldn't work it out together
So our lives and love could grow.

No more placing blame
For all the wrong been done
No more sleepless nights
Or the need to up and run.
And so I thank you kindly
For all that you have been
For all the good that we shared,
And the things that we have seen.

by
Melanie Bremner Doran

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